Monday, August 31, 2009
Obama Health Care What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello?"
"Mrs. Sanders, please."
"Speaking."
"Mrs. Sanders, this is Dr. Jones at St. Agnes Laboratory. When your husband'sdoctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr.Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good."
"What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which."
"That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Sanders.
"Normally we can, but the new Obama health care system will only pay for these expensive tests just one time."
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"
"The folks at Obama health care recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him"
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Marks Just Jokes Husband Of The Year Awards - For The Gals
The honorable mention goes to :
The United Kingdom
...followed closely by
The United States of America
and then ................ Poland
but 3rd Place must go to
.........Greece
it was very very close
but the runner up prize
was awarded to....
............. Serbia
but the winner of the
husband/partner of the year
......is
......... Ireland
Ya gotta love the Irish.
The Irish are true romantics.look, he's even
holding her hand..
Woman has Man in it;
Mrs. has Mr. in it;
Female has Male in it;
She has He in it;
Madam has Adam in it;
Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now...
I never looked at it this way before:
Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN?
MEN tal illness
MEN strual cramps
MEN tal breakdown
MEN opause
GUY necologist
AND ..
When we have REAL trouble, it's a
HISterectomy..
Send this to all the women you know to brighten their day.
Send this to all the men just to annoy them ......
Remember You Don't Stop Laughing Because You Grow Old,You Grow Old Because You Stop Laughing
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Racist Couple Avoids Death By Fire Because They Were At Work
A family of Nigerian internet con artists lived on the first floor. All six died in the fire.
A group of 7 Kenyan welfare cheats, all illegal, lived on the second floor. They too, all perished in the fire.
Six Hispanic Gang Bangers lived on the 3rd floor didn't have a chance. They all died.
One white couple living on the top floor survived the fire.
Jesse Jackson, John Burris and Al Sharpton were furious. They flew into LA and quickly demanded a meeting with the Fire Chief.
On camera, they loudly demanded to know why the Blacks, Muslims, and Hispanics all died in the fire,
and WHY only the WHITE couple lived.
The fire chief stepped up to the microphone and simply replied...
"They were at work."