Marks Just Jokes Political Correctness

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES. '

You must now refer to them as
APPALACHIAN- AMERICANS.

And, furthermore. ..

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' -

She is a
' BREASTED AMERICAN.'
2. She is not 'EASY' - She is

'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'
3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' -

She is a
'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY. '

4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' -

She is a

'PREVIOUSLY- ENJOYED COMPANION.'

5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes

' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' She is a

' LOW COST PROVIDER.'
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1.. He does not have a 'BEER GUT'...

He has developed a

'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'
2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is

' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He
'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS. '
4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in

'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'
5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS ' - He develops a case of

RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'
6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's

'REAR CLEAVAGE.