Showing posts with label Obama. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Obama. Show all posts

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Marks Just Jokes - :Picking Lemons

A woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job.

The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this: "Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?"


"Well, as a matter of fact, I have! I've been divorced three times, owned 2 Chrysler's, and I voted for Obama.

How’s that for picking Lemons




Obama humor brought to you by Marks Just Jokes

Friday, January 1, 2010

Marks Just Jokes, President Reagan, Nancy Reagan, John Hinckley, Jodie Foster, and Obama

You might recall that John Hinckley was a seriously deranged young man who shot President Reagan in the early 1980's.

Hinckley was absolutely obsessed with movie star Jodie Foster, extremely jealous, and in his twisted mind, loved Jodie Foster to the point that to make himself well known to her, he attempted to assassinate President Reagan.

There is speculation Hinckley may soon be released as having been rehabilitated.

Consequently, you may appreciate the following letter from Nancy Reagan to John Hinckley:

* *To: John Hinckley
From: Mrs. Nancy Reagan

My family and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our fine country's spirit of understanding and forgiveness, we want you to know there is a nonpartisan consensus of compassion and forgiveness throughout.

The Reagan family and I want you to know that no grudge is borne against you for shooting President Reagan. We, above all, are aware of how the mental stress and pain could have driven you to such an act of desperation. We are confident that you will soon make a complete recovery and return to your family to join the world again as a healthy and productive young man.

Best wishes,
Nancy Reagan & Family

P.S. While you have been incarcerated, Barack Obama has been banging Jodie Foster like a screen door in a tornado. You might want to look into that.

Marks Just Jokes

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Horse Country Obama Horses Ass

A man is sitting in a bar far from home when Barack Obama come on TV.

The man looks at the TV and says, "Obama is a horse's ass."

Out of nowhere, a local jumps up and punches him in the face,knocking the first guy off his bar stool, then stomps out.

He gets up, rubbing his cheek and orders another beer.

Shortly after, Michelle Obama appears on the TV. He looks at the TV and says, "She is a horse's ass too!"

Out of nowhere, another local punches him on the other side of the face, knocking him off his bar stool again.

He gets back up and looks at the bartender, "I take it this is Obama country?"

"Nope." replies the bartender. "Horse country."

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Obama Cant Get It Done | Somali Cruises and Target Practice

Obama Can't Handle It. Somali Cruise Package Now Offered!

Somali Cruise Package

Rates Are Cheap!

Somali cruise package that departs from Sawakin (in the Sudan ) and docks at Bagamoya (in Tanzania ).

The cost is a bit high @ $800 per person double occupancy but we didn’t find that offensive.

What we found encouraging and enlightened is that the cruise is encouraging people to bring their ‘High powered weapons’ along on the cruise.

If you don’t have your own weapons you can rent them right there on the boat.

They claim to have a master gunsmith on board and will have reloading parties every afternoon as well as optional marksmanship=2 0training.

The cruise lasts from 4-8 days and nights and costs a maximum of $3200 per person double occupancy (4 days).

All the boat does is sail up and down the coast of Somalia waiting to get hijacked by pirates.

Here are some of the costs and claims associated with the package.*

$800.00 US/per day double occupancy (4 day max billing)*
M-16 full auto rental $25.00/day ammo at 100 rounds of 5.56 armor piercing ammo at $15.95*
Ak-47 riffle @ No charge. ammo at 100 rounds of 7.62 com block ball ammo at $14.95*
Barrett M-107 .50 cal sniper riffle rental $55.00/day ammo at 25 rounds 50 cal armor piercing at $9.95*
Crew members can double as spotters for $30.00 per hour (spotting scope included).*
Wow - they even offer RPG’s at 75 bucks and 200 dollars for 3 standard loads*
“Everyone gets use of free complimentary night vision equipment and coffee and snacks the top deck from 7pm-6am.”*
Meals are not included but costs seem reasonable.* Most cruises offer a mini-bar... these gung ho entrepreneurs offer......... get this.....* &n bsp; “MOUNTED MINIGUN AVAILABLE @ $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire” (Sign me up for that!)They advertise group rates and corporate discounts......and even claim “FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY”They even have a partial money back offer if not satisfied....here’s some text from the ad.“We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or we will refund half your money back including gun rental charges and any unused ammo (mini-gun charges not included). How can we guarantee you will experience a hijacking? We operate at 5 knots within 12 miles of the coast of Somalia .If an attempted Hijacking does not occur we will turn the boat around and cruise by at 4 knots. We will repeat this for up to 8 days making three passes a day along the entire length of Somalia . At night the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot off at intervals and loud disco music beamed shore side to attract attention. Cabin space is limited so respond quickly. Reserve your package before the end of May and get 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice.”As if all that isn’t enough to whet your appetite, there were a few testimonials* “I got three confirmed kills on my last trip. I’ll never hunt big game in Africa again. I felt like the Komandant in Schindlers list!”---- Lars , Hamburg , Germany* “Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected. I bagged three pirates and my 12-yr. old son sank two rowboats with the mini-gun. PIRATES 0 - PASSENGERS-32! Well worth the trip. Just make sure your spotter speaks English” - Ned, Salt Lake city , Utah USA* “I haven’t had this much fun since flying choppers in NAM . Don’t worry about getting shot by pirates as they never even got close to the ship with those weapons they use and their squirrelly aim—reminds me of a drunken ‘juicer’ door gunner we picked up from the motor pool back in Nam”—“chopper’ Dan ----Toledo USA.* “Like ducks in a barrel. This is must do!" – Zeke, Minnahaw Springs , Kentucky , USAFinally, someone had the common sense to cash in AND solve a major problem. These folks deserve a medal!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Obama Barack Hussain Bin Laden

Obama Sucks - Try this excercise

How to start each day with a positive outlook while fighting off the fascism of Obama

1. Open a new file in your computer.

2. Name it 'Barack Obama'.

3. Send it to the Recycle Bin.

4. Empty the Recycle Bin.

5. Your PC will ask you: 'Do you really want to get rid of 'Barack Obama?

6. Firmly Click 'Yes.'

7. Feel better?

GOOD! - Tomorrow we'll do Nancy Pelosi
 
Just Jokes