Marks Just Jokes - The Newlyweds and Tiger Woods

A couple were on their honeymoon, lying in bed, ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, 'I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin.'

The husband replies, 'That's no big thing in this day and age.'

The wife continues, 'Yeah, I've been with one guy.'

'Oh yeah? Who was the guy?'

'Tiger Woods.'

'Tiger Woods the golfer?'

'Yeah.'

'Well he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him.'

The husband and wife then make passionate love. When they finish, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

'What are you doing?' asks his wife.

The husband says, 'I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get some food.'

'Tiger wouldn't do that!' she claims.

'Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?'

'He'd come back to bed and do it a second time.'

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love with his wife a second time. When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone.

'What are you doing?' she asks.

The husband says, 'I'm still hungry so I was going to call room service to get some food.'

'Tiger wouldn't do that,' again she claims.

'Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?'

'He'd come back to bed and do it a third time.'

The guy slams down the phone and goes back to bed and makes love to his wife a third time. When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks, 'Are you calling room service?'

'No! I'm calling Tiger Woods to find out what's par for this damn hole!'


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Marks Just Jokes On Tiger Woods And Blondes

In a survey conducted earlier this week, 1,000 American blondes were asked if they would sleep with Tiger Woods.

89 per cent said: "Never again."

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Marks Just Jokes Tiger Woods New Disney Movie

Marks Just Jokes Brings You A Brand New Disney Movie Featuring "Tiger Woods"

"THE LYIN' KING" Starring "TIGER WOODS"

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Marks Just Jokes A Tiger Woods Thanksgiving

I hear that the argument with Tiger and his wife started over Thanksgiving dinner when he asked his wife if he could have another piece of white meat...

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Marks Just Jokes LIttle Johnny Christmas And Tiger Woods

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?

Before Little Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Little Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Little Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Little Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Little Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Little Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Litttle Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Little Johnny replied: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"

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Marks Just Jokes Will Al Sharpton Stop At Nothing To Prove What A Biggot He Is

The Rev. Al Sharpton held a press conference today to blast Tiger Woods for the lack of diversity among his mistresses.

Sharpton claims that the lack of African-American women among Woods’ harem will have a negative affect on the black community, specifically young black girls.

“Why is it that a man who calls himself black can’t bring himself to cheat on his wife with a black woman?” said Sharpton, speaking to a group of supporters in Harlem.

“What does it say to young black girls everywhere when you pass them over?

Shame on you, Tiger Woods. What would your daddy say?”

Sharpton, who has long championed taking black women as mistresses, said that today’s black athletes need to stop neglecting black women when it comes to extramarital affairs, and should follow the examples of positive black role models such as Jesse Jackson and Martin Luther King, Jr., both of whom cheated on their wives with black women.

Sharpton also stressed that cheating with African-American women would help the black community financially by giving black girls the chance to sell their stories to tabloids and gossip magazines.

Added Sharpton, “I’m not asking you to not cheat on your wives, I’m just asking you to give back to your own community.”

Brought to you by Marks Just Jokes We surely hope that this is a joke!

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Marks Just Jokes Tiger Woods And Santa Claus

What is the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods?

Santa Claus stops after three Ho's

Marks Just Jokes Tigers Woods Jokes They Just Keep Coming!

The police asked Tiger Woods' wife, Elin Nordegren how many times she hit him. "I don't know exactly...put me down for a 5."

Phil Mickelson contacted Tiger Woods' wife to pick up tips on how to beat Tiger.

What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.

Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family--his new name?: Cheetah

Tiger was driving an Escalade, can he blame the accident on his caddy?

Hello, Mr. Woods. This is the On Star operator. We have detected that an angry person has put a golf club through your window. We've called Nike. A new club is on its way.

Who among us doesn't hear a car crash and immediately grab the closest golf club we can find??!!

Tiger's new movie: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.

Poor choice; he should have gone with the driver.

Marks Just Jokes Merry Christmas From Tiger Woods And Family

Merry Christmas, Homey

Tiger, And Family

Marks Just Jokes Tiger Woods Jokes

You knew they were coming...TIGER WOODS Jokes

Tiger Woods owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between the wood or the iron.

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana? Tiger has a better Driver.

We heard that Tiger Woods' wife has been interested in taking up golf. However, 2:30am does sound a bit of an odd time to start hitting your Woods.

Ping just offered Elin Nordegren an endorsement contract pushing her own set of drivers. They are marketing them as "clubs you can beat Tiger Woods with."

News travels fast. The Chinese are already making a movie about Tiger Woods' crash. They are calling it, "Scratching Swede, Lying Tiger."

EA Sports has announced the recall of Tiger Woods 2010 so a new bonus level can be added called "Tiger VS The Driveway". A collector's edition will be sold with a free Wii steering wheel.

What does Tiger Woods have in common with baby seals? They're both clubbed by Scandinavians.
If you made it to work this morning, you have earned the right to say "I can out drive Tiger Woods."

Police: Did you hit your husband with the golf club.
Elin: Yes I hit him three or four times.
Police: Well which was it three or four?
Elin: Just put me down for three.